Why being left out is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Being left out honestly does suck. But I believe it is inevitable. No matter what happens in life, you will never be included in everything. Things happen and people make bad choices. Sometimes you will be deliberately left out and other times things happen and it is not done on purpose. But whatever the reason, it can still hurt. I believe that social media and the idea of FOMO(fear of missing out) has made the idea of being left out that much worse and that much harder to deal with. But having experienced this at a young age in a deliberate, and public, way, it shaped my decisions from there on out.

You see, back in high school I was deliberately left out of something. To spare the details, because it really doesn’t matter anymore, I was left out of something that was kept a secret. It was revealed that I was left out in a pretty public way. It was humiliating and I was pretty hurt by it all. What hurt me the most was the way it was handled, not even the fact that I was left out.

Believe me, I have been left out on more than that occasion. I have been left out before and probably will be again at some point I’m sure. But this was just a pivotal moment and changed my thought process on the whole thing. So I attribute that experience to helping me grow into the person I am today.

It made me a better person. It made me learn how to stick up for myself in ways I had never done before. It made me learn to stand on my own two feet and not be so dependent on others. It taught me to be gracious with others even when I wanted to be upset with them. It taught me to be loyal and love other people even more. It taught me to try my hardest to ensure other people are included. It taught me to notice others more and pay attention to their feelings. It taught me to be both gentle and deliberate with my actions knowing that the way I handle things says more about me than my actions.

I’m not perfect by any means, and I am sure I have left others out unintentionally. I’m sure I have hurt others feelings and made the wrong choices. But because it happened to me, I am more aware of the repercussions. I am aware that people can get their feelings hurt by my actions. I am also more willing to step up and apologize when I have made a mistake or hurt someone.

I took that moment in time and navigated my way through to becoming a better person. I worked hard to not let it harden me and even remained friends with those that hurt me. Sure, the friendship wasn’t quite what it was before, but friendships change as you grow anyways. I didn’t let it make me bitter, instead I learned to be better. To be better at friendships, to be better at relationships in general, to actively choose be a better person each day. It didn’t happen overnight and I really had to work toward it, and am still making progress today. But I am proud of the person that being left out has pushed me to be.

I hope that you are able to take situations like this and turn them into lessons. No matter what happens, you deserve to be treated with love and respect. I hope you know that and I hope that when others treat you poorly you continue to treat them with love and respect back, no matter what they have done to you. It is a never ending fight to continue to learn and grow. I don’t think that making the right choices will be easy 100% of the time, no matter how much you learn and grow. Choosing to be a better person is just that, a choice that has to be made each and every day.

So what are you going to choose today?

All the love,

Amber

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