be selfish.

I hope you’re selfish today, tomorrow and maybe always. I hope that each day you wake up and choose yourself over just about everything and everyone else. You are important enough to give yourself that kind of love, focus and attention. You deserve to wholeheartedly choose yourself over and over again each day. You owe yourself the love you give to those around you.

You see, for most of my life I was living to please those around me. I tip toed around to make sure that no one was mad at me. I made decisions that I didn’t necessarily like because I knew that it wouldn’t let down or inconvenience others. I lived to make my parents proud(which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, don’t get me wrong). But I put so much pressure on myself to ensure that everything was happy and everyone else was happy that I was kind of miserable half the time. My anxiety was through the roof when I was doing this. I would tell myself that making those kinds of sacrifices were worth it because everyone else around me was happy and that is what matters.

As I got older I started to learn that there were truly times that I needed to choose myself over other people and things. It was such an important journey of realizing who I was, who I wanted to be and what my values truly are. I think it is so easy to get caught up in our day to day that we don’t slow down to think about what we are doing for ourselves and our own goals and values. If your mindset is consumed with other people, what they have, if they are happy, what they are doing, what works for them, their newest thing, etc. Then we can’t expect to grow ourselves. It is truly about shifting your mindset inwards, towards yourself.

There are a couple action steps that I took as I began wanting to put myself first more and become a little selfish:

  • Write out your values.
    • By values I mean what you need to be in order to become who you want to be. While listing these out I realized that I was striving high with a lot of values, like a lot. So I decided to narrow my list again to just 10. My values include- loyalty, creativity, consistency, commitment, positivity, motivation, compassion, overall health(mental and physical), service to others and education.
    • I believe this step is important because it is a reminder of who you are and who you need to show up as everyday. Your choices and actions should align with your values, ideally, and if you know you true values it is easier to show up with them each day. Obviously no one is perfect and things happen, sometimes we all do things and make choices that go against our values. We’re human. But progress is progress.
  • Write out your priorities.
    • Your priorities are different from your values in that your priorities are specific things that are important to your lifestyle and the way you want to live your life. In choosing my priorities I thought about what all I wanted to consume my time. Time is valuable and important. The way you spend it is crucial to who you are and who you want to be.
    • My priorities have recently shifted a TON. This was the piece that I was personally lacking. I let my priorities go when I felt the need to please everyone else around me. So I was missing out completely on my own priorities. No wonder I felt lost, out of touch with myself and like I was just going through the motions everyday.
    • My priorities now include- my family, my physical health, my mental health, my friendships, learning/personal growth, my business, my blog, my money and my education.

After I wrote both of these out, I put them together. This is now how I choose to live my life. By upholding my values to the best of my ability each day and by choosing which priority I will spend my time cultivating throughout the day. These are the things that are important to me and I am proud of myself for learning to be selfish in this way. It is freeing to realize that by being selfish in this way, you are actually being a better person.

There is that old saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And it is SO true. You cannot pour from an empty cup. It is also exhausting to completely empty your cup and THEN fill it all the way back up. Instead if you realize you lost a bit of volume in your cup, go ahead and refill that bit as soon as you can. That way you don’t have to feel too empty. Be selfish and fill your cup up as you go.

I hope you go out today and be selfish. I hope you choose you and who you want to become over anything and anyone else. You deserve that choice and the people that are meant to be in your life will understand your need to be a little selfish. If they don’t, that is alright. A self growth journey can be something that brings new people in and lets go of others. Choosing yourself will be worth so much more in the end.

All the love,

Amber

Affirmations for your week.

This week I thought it would be good to write out some affirmations for your week! This is something I have been doing on my own for about 3 months now. I have since shared this practice with my students to help them through stressful moments and it has helped me become more secure in things going on around me.

I know that affirmations can feel strange at first. What even are they? How do you use them? Why do you say or write them? Personally, I write them down because they will stick in my brain better. I have also become quite the journaling lover so it just makes sense for me. I think about things I want to do or be to become closer to the best version of myself. I also think about what is currently going on in my life, what I have anxiety about, what is making me happy, if there is anything I want to change, etc. Then I write out affirmations that help me narrow in my focus on where I want to grow. I write them out as if I already am that thing or doing that thing. It’s almost a way of speaking it into existence so you can start to become the person that you want to be. I have seen a lot of growth in myself over the past few months simply by using them.

These are some that I have used myself as well as new ones that I have found! I hope you can find one, or a few, that you resonate with!

I am enough.

I am present in every moment.

I spread love and joy to those around me.

I am more than other people’s opinions of me.

I can do hard things.

I am committed to my own growth, regardless of the people around me.

I attract positivity and healthy relationships.

I believe in myself wholeheartedly.

I am strong.

I am a light for others.

I am powerful.

I am safe, loved and secure.

I am proud of myself.

Good things are coming my way.

I am allowed to say no.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.

I am working hard towards my goals.

Sometimes things go wrong, but I get to choose the way I react.

It is my choice how my day will go and I choose to remain positive.

I am calm and peaceful.

I am good at what I do and I work hard at it every day.

I am grateful.

I am meant to do great things.

I accept myself and all that I am.

I am capable of change while loving who I am wholeheartedly.

I am not where I want to be, but I am working to get there each day.

I find value in being alone.

I take things one step at a time.

My sensitivity is a strength of mine.

I will use failure as a stepping stone on my path.

I will let go of things that are not meant to me.

I do not have to take anyone’s shit.

I will not look back, only forward.

I believe in myself each and everyday.

I hope you were able to find something hit home for you. I want to encourage you to add in 3 affirmations to your week this week! They could be the same everyday or switch them up depending on what you need! Keeping your focus on affirmations that resonate you can help create such a sense of self awareness that you might not get otherwise. It has helped me to feel more myself every day, and I know they could do wonders in your life too!

All the love,

Amber

Growing pains.

We’ve all had them, right? Growing up comes with growing pains. Clearly there comes a time when we stop physically growing and our joints can relax…. at least for a while. Well, I think that as we continue to grow mentally, emotionally and maturity wise, we open ourselves up to a new version of growing pains. I think it is important to recognize that choosing to learn and grow is not always fun and inspiring. Sometimes it is asking yourself the hard questions, trusting your newfound knowledge and challenging your old habits and decisions. Sometimes there is pain within the growth.

There are so many opportunities to grow each day and sometimes when those opportunities present themselves, we want NOTHING to do with them. Trust me, I get it. I am queen of side stepping those lessons for as long as possible until I finally have to face them. God has a funny way of showing you what you need to learn, over and over again, until you learn it. Whether it takes you years, months, or minutes to face those lessons and learn from them, those growing pains can show through. Even when we push them off, those pains are just still going to be there.

You know what I mean- leaving a relationship that isn’t healthy, following your dreams and leaving your current job or situation, starting a new path, choosing yourself first instead of others, cutting off a toxic friendship, understanding yourself more and making decisions that can upset others. All of these and so much more could be considered growing pains.

I think that if you are someone that is choosing to try to better your life or situation and need to make those hard decisions so you can continue to learn and grow it can be so incredibly hard. It is so much easier to stay in the comfortability of the way things are. Why fix what isn’t “broken”? Well, if it wasn’t broken then you wouldn’t feel the need to change it. It is difficult to jump up and just make those changes. I definitely struggle with understanding when it is time to change paths and when it is time to just adjust and keep going on that path.

Growing pains can also present when learning in day to day life. Learning a new task, adjusting to a new job or position, understanding what you value in life, relationships and career wise. It can be hard on yourself to push through those little moments of growth and keep going. They can pile up and up and I know it can be so easy to just give up. But doing the work to push through, grow and change can be so empowering. It’s those little moments of struggle that can add up to the biggest amounts of growth.

I write all this to say that if you find yourself coming into a season of change, growing pains are expected and you will be okay. Things may be hard now, but you will make it through. Growing pains are always temporary. Don’t confuse those growing pains with thinking you may not be making the right choices. Be confident in yourself for doing the work to choose growth for YOU.

Others may not understand your sudden change or choice to grow, and you don’t have to explain it either. As long as you are doing what you believe is right for your growth and not harming anyone, then GO FOR IT.

You are allowed to change. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to stay. You are allowed to change paths. You are allowed choose you no matter what.

If you’re feeling those growing pains, keep GROWING. Don’t let anyone stop you and surly don’t stop yourself. You absolutely deserve all the things you want in life. Make it past the growing pains and do it for yourself.

All the love,

Amber

My top personal growth books.

I love reading personal growth or personal development books! I enjoy reading a variety of book but personal growth books just give me so much to think about and help me learn so much. They give me inspiration to become a better person and share with others. So I compiled a list of my top 4 personal growth books. These each have a dear place in my heart for one reason or another! They are also pretty different in terms of information and the way they present ideas. I think there is a book for anyone interested in personal development in this list!

  • Own Your Everyday by Jordan Lee Dooley
    • If you feel stuck, overwhelmed and like you have to figure out your “calling” and have something to prove to others, this book is for you! Jordan Lee Dooley outlines ways to get out of that mindset and learn how to start showing up everyday for yourself and what you were made to do! She shares her own experiences as well as lines out strategies to help with pressure we feel, our own mindset and so many other things. Dooley also shares her faith and how it has helped immensely in her journey.
    • Jordan Lee Dooley also hosts a podcast titled “SHE”. This podcast is available on the iTunes podcast app, Spotify, Google Play and Stitcher. In her podcast she speaks on so many helpful topics, shares conversations with professionals and other influencers and gives advice in many areas of life and business. I listen to this podcast weekly and would definitely recommend!
  • Untamed by Glennon Doyle
    • Anything Glennon Doyle shares is just a masterpiece in my opinion. Her authenticity is so inspiring and draws so many to her. In Untamed she shares how to find yourself. How to break down all that you are and all that you are not and sift through it all to find the confidence to solely embrace who you are. She shares her own stories and you are sure to find something to relate to. I have read this book three times now and love it just the same. If you struggle with being 100% authentic 100% of the time, I could not recommend a better book. I think in this day and age with social media being such a huge part of life, Untamed shares a perspective that shatters that perfect profile pressure and really makes you think about what is truly important in life. Not to mention, each time I read this book it left me feeling like a badass.
  • Atomic Habits by James Clear
    • This book outlines how to build those small habits that lead to big results. It breaks everything down step by step and even shares how to break some of those bad habits you have. I really love how straightforward this book is and makes you think about things a bit more simplistically. Sometimes when we think about the big goals that we have and the things we want to become we can become overwhelmed. James Clear really presents his system in a way that feels simple to start and achieve. It isn’t about how fast we can reach those things that we want, it is about building small habits to become the person that we want. That way we can eventually achieve those big goals. I could not recommend a better book for those of us that struggle with sticking to those habits we want to build.
  • The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins
    • A simple tactic to achieve huge results. Mel Robbins introduces her 5 second rule and shows so many different scenarios in which it works for you. The book even has recommendations by others that have used the 5 second rule for themselves. They share their experience and how it has changed their lives. This book has helped change my life as well in so many ways. The biggest help being that when my alarm goes off in the morning, I use the 5 second rule and then get the heck up and out of bed! My days have honestly been transformed by this idea and I have used the 5 second rule in so many situations since first learning about it. Once you start using it, it becomes such a great tool to have!

I hope you found something interesting in at least one of these books! And if so, I hope you read the book for yourself! All of these are currently available to purchase on Amazon at the time I am writing this post! If you are currently reading or have read a good personal growth book, please comment and share it with me! I would love to get some recommendations.

All the love,

Amber

26 lessons for turning 26.

Yesterday was my 26th birthday and I thought it would be a perfect time to share and reflect on the years. Some of these are things I have been working on for a while and some of them are brand new to my life. I am by no means an expert on ANY of these. I just think that if I learned it, I can share and hopefully something will resonate with someone else! So here is a compiled list of 26 lessons for turning 26.

  1. There is no such thing as too much coffee. This is just fact, nobody can tell me otherwise.
  2. Worry about yourself too. As much time as you spend worrying about other people, make sure you pour into yourself too! This one is definitely hard for me and I have to continue reminding myself it from time to time.
  3. Begin each day with a clean slate. As easy as it is to carry things into the next day from the day before, it is important to clear out too. Starting each day with as clean of a slate as possible has been something I have been focusing on in the last few months! Don’t carry things that are too heavy.
  4. Learn to say no confidently. Learning to say no was a hard lesson, but learning to say it confidently was even harder. Girl, say no and say it with confidence!
  5. Always be reading a book. This one is self explanatory. Always be reading something!
  6. Luck isn’t real. Being lucky isn’t a thing. If you go through life thinking that some people are just “lucky” and you aren’t… that is just not healthy. If you think you’re going to get good things in life, then you will. If you think you aren’t, you won’t. Manifest that stuff y’all. Don’t rely on luck!
  7. Choose kindness as often as you can. Do it. It is so easy to get caught up in small, petty things. But at the end of the day, your actions define you. To me, there is no better definition of myself that I want to be true than kind.
  8. You can forgive others, even when they are not sorry. Oof, this one. It is so hard. When others do you wrong and aren’t even sorry about it. That is so rough. But this goes back to the “start each day with a clean slate” thing. If I carry that weight of holding that grudge or those ill feelings toward someone every time they weren’t sorry for doing something that hurt me, it would be a lot of weight I’m sure. People are going to hurt you, but you can still forgive them. Forgive them, let it go and move on. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. But it sure makes you feel better when you aren’t constantly carrying that weight.
  9. Do whatever makes you happy. Ugh, so much this. If you like to drink coffee, drink it all. If you like trading Pokemon cards, amazing! If going to the gym everyday makes you happy, awesome. If watching Dr. Phil makes you happy, great. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Who cares what other people think!
  10. It’s okay to feel lost. Give yourself some grace. Say it with me, “It is okay to feel lost”. It is okay. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to go through rough times without having something “tragic” happen in your life. You don’t have to feel okay and on track just because other people view your life as being “fine”. You have every right to feel lost and not okay. Give yourself some grace, fight to get yourself back and back on track, and keep going.
  11. Learn to be okay on your own. Learn to be okay without a significant other and without friends all the time. I have been working on this for a few years now. I am okay being on my own, but I want to reach the level of comfortability that I can go out to eat alone and just take myself out to do things without the need to even just be texting someone or on my phone the whole time. I want to reach the level of peace within myself where I am comfortable just being on my own wherever and whenever.
  12. Always trust your intuition. THIS. There have been so many times where I have questioned myself because maybe other people saw things differently or had different opinions. But then it turns out that I should have just trusted myself.
  13. Comparison is the thief of joy. Yeah yeah, we have all heard it a million times. But seriously, with the amount of things we are subjected to each day through all our screens it can become SO easy to compare yourself to others. You are you and they are them. You have been so many places and done so many things and so have they. You are both amazing. You have so many great qualities about you and so do they. You are both amazing. You see so many great things about them, others see so many great things about you. Just don’t compare yourself. Practice acknowledging those things you admire without getting down on yourself.
  14. Always be you. This does go hand in hand with the whole don’t compare thing. It just takes it a step further. I think that sometimes when we compare it is easy to fall into the mold of what is “on trend”. Sure, doing things on trend can be fun, but you don’t have to. Constantly remind yourself that it is okay to just be you.
  15. Practice being grateful. Being grateful is an active practice. We cannot just magically become grateful by doing it once. You have to continue to practice being grateful each and every day. It is work, just like anything else.
  16. If you can change your thoughts you can change your life. It’s no secret that our thoughts and the way we speak to ourselves can have a huge impact on our days. If you can actively change those thoughts that aren’t serving you, think about how much better an impact your thoughts can have on you! Just some food for thought 😉
  17. Always forgive yourself. Earlier I mentioned forgiving others. Well, it is important to forgive yourself too. You are not and never will be perfect. No one is. That is okay. Stop holding yourself to the mistake you made 5 years ago. Forgive yourself. Start each day with a clean slate. Decipher the lesson out of the mistake and forgive yourself. No need to carry the burden any longer.
  18. Not everyone is going to like you and thats okay. We have all heard this before too, I’m sure. Well it is true! Not everyone is going to like you. That is FINE. You will be okay! You have your people that love you and that is all that matters.
  19. The way you react says more about you than anything else. This. The way you choose to react to things that happen to you says SO much about you.
  20. Quality time with your people is important. Prioritize spending time with your friends and family. And not just spending time with them but spending quality time and building those relationships. It is so important to fuel those relationships with the ones in your corner.
  21. The fears we don’t face become our limits. I’ll leave this one for what it is. Just think about it. Do the work, figure out your fears that are becoming your limits. I’m sure you can find at least one.
  22. You are and always will be enough. Trust me, you are.
  23. Don’t water dead plants. Don’t do it!!! There is a reason that the plant died. It is probably because you were the only one taking care of the plant. You can’t do it alone. You tried your best. Stop watering it.
  24. Chase YOUR dreams and YOUR goals for YOU. You don’t have to explain your goals and dreams to anyone else. Chase them for you. Not anyone else.
  25. Romanticize your life more. Yes. Turn your mornings into stories and your nights with friends into fairytales. Don’t just passively live life. Turn your life into something bigger. Those things that you love to do or that take up your me time. It is not just empty space between work and obligations. You are writing the story of your life each and every day. Act like it!
  26. Never stop learning. Never, ever. Always find lesson always think about your application. There is something to learn from each day if you look for it!

Take what you need, leave what you don’t! Stay positive, spread the love and be kind friends 🙂

All the love,

Amber

What you choose to focus on will grow.

We have all heard that before, I’m sure. What you choose to focus on will grow. Makes sense, right? If you choose to focus on your goals, you will grow until you reach those goals. If you choose to focus on positivity, the positivity within you will continue to grow. But, the same goes when you choose to focus on those negative things.

I think over the last year there have been many, many things to focus on that could be negative. Our realities were essentially ripped away from us, our families and our communities. The inconsistency that life has brought into our lives has really thrown us all off. I know that it was easy for me to set my focus on the negative things going on around me, which grew the negativity inside me. I was a positive person on the surface, but as time went on I found myself gravitating toward the negativity instead of the positive. It took a lot of work, but by actively choosing to focus on things that would help me grow where I need and want, I have become that truly positive person again. Some days it is so hard to choose and maintain my focus, other days it’s easy. But it is a choice you have to make.

Here are some of my tips to help you step out and choose your focus each day!

  1. Choose your focus areas or goals. This could be ANYTHING you want. Whether it is health and fitness related, monetary, something you want to work towards or something you want to be. Your focus areas and goals are your own to choose. I recommend writing them down and keeping them somewhere you can read and remind yourself of each and every day. I think this is important because it is easy to lose track of all the different areas you want to grow with your busy life. Just hitting reset and reading them each chance you get can help maintain that focus.
  2. Journaling! Journaling has seriously helped me focus SO much on the things I want. I journal differently each day, depending on what I need. Some days it is a brain dump just to get those things out of my head that don’t need to be there. Some days it is a complete story to get out my feelings about things going on in my life. Some days it is more like a diary, because if I can get those things out on paper, I won’t be inclined to dwell on them. My journal is where I get rid of everything I don’t want to focus on and bring forward everything I do want to focus on so I can grow.
  3. Meditation and Affirmations. For me, this looks like leading myself through a short yoga session, really focusing on my breath and letting all feelings of stress go. I also use affirmations within my journaling as well as read them on my vision board each morning.
  4. Spread joy in your conversations, not negativity. This one can be a bit hard. Monitoring each and every conversation can be rough. But going into your interactions with those around you with the intention of spreading joy can help keep those conversations positive and up lifting. Obviously, things are not butterflies and rainbows all the time, but if you can focus on that positive side more often than the negative, it will increase your chances of growing!
  5. Stick to your focus or goals, don’t feel bad about it. Your choice of focus or goals are important to you. So treat them as such! Sometimes it is easy to get so caught up in other areas of our lives that we let what is truly important to ourselves go. This is the part where you have to wake up each day and consistently choose your focus over and over again. Otherwise you can stray so far away from your priorities you find yourself not working towards anything for yourself. You deserve better!

These are just some of the things that have worked for myself. This time has been difficult on us all, so remember to give grace as well. It is important to remind yourself we are all going through different things and struggling in different ways. Be kind, spread love and focus on those good things! Here’s to a great month!

All the love,

Amber

New Year Check-In!

So if you’re anything like me you love the idea of a fresh start and new beginning. Well today marks 13 days into the new year, the new year I think we were all ready for. Realistically we all know that we weren’t going to open our eyes to a bright and shiny 2021, with all of our problems promised to be fixed. But, there is something about the magic that a new year brings! I hope you made some resolutions, wrote down some goals, made a vision board or did some self reflecting during this time on what you want the new year to bring! If you didn’t, use this time now to go for it! If you already did something like this before the first, check in with yourself on what you established. Below are a list of questions/prompts to help!

What are you most grateful for from 2020? Let’s be honest, I know on the surface there is not much. But there has to be at least one thing you can be grateful for from 2020!

What were your favorite moments of 2020?

What are your goals or resolutions for 2021?

How are you going to accomplish those goals or approach those resolutions? This is the most important part! If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

What is your word of 2021? I used to think this was silly and that it just wasn’t even possible for me to narrow down everything I wanted out of a whole year to just one word. But this year I decided to choose one. My word for the year is growth. I felt like it was something I strived for in 2020 but didn’t quite attack like I had wanted to. Now, my focus is narrowed and I work towards it every day.

What are you letting go of in 2021? A new year is a fresh start and brings the opportunity to let go of things you don’t need. This can be anything; people, ideas, thoughts, anything.

What are you embracing in 2021? So now that you have let go of something, embrace something else! Again, this could be anything.

If you haven’t gone for your goals or resolutions the way you’d hoped, don’t be too hard on yourself! We are only two weeks in, you can reset and get to it now! This last year has been hard on us all, give yourself some grace. The inspiration and motivation has to come from you, do the work to find it and then get after it!

Happy two weeks into the new year everyone 🙂

21 Ways to Spread Joy in 2021

Now that we have entered a new year, one of my personal goals is to remain focused on spreading more joy. I think that this has been something that has always been a priority to me, however in 2020 it was easy to let my feelings about what was going on the world or wherever get me down and sometimes drive me to speak a bit more negatively than I would like. So this year I want to get myself in the habit of spreading all the joy I can! I believe that the more joy you can spread to others, the more joy you will have yourself! Shifting to a positive perspective can do wonders for your day to day!

So if you’re like me and have a goal to spread more joy in 2021, here are 21 ideas to help you get started!

  1. Buy someone a coffee/drink! Doing something as small as buying a friend or stranger a coffee or their favorite drink can mean so much! Choose a friend and just send them a few bucks or pay it forward in line!
  2. SMILE and say hello to a stranger! Even though we are wearing masks, you can always tell when someone is giving you a smile! It always makes my day to make even the smallest connection with a stranger.
  3. Give a compliment! You never know what others are going through and your compliment could make their day. It could be exactly what they needed to hear!
  4. Share something positive on social media! Share something good that happened to you, a positive quote or picture of something that makes you happy. Social media can be so negative so sharing the positivity can spread more joy than you think.
  5. Cheer someone on! There are so many people doing awesome things in their lives. Choose one and send them some encouragement! This could be as small as sending someone a text or commenting on a photo or post of theirs!
  6. Donate clothes/books/anything! Things you don’t use or need anymore can be so helpful to others. This may not be a joy that you yourself will see, but even if one person gets one of your things, it could mean so much.
  7. Tell someone how much they mean to you! Learning that you are appreciated in any way is such a great thing to hear. So often we hear the negative, so getting out that positive can always help!
  8. Write a handwritten letter to someone! Receiving a handwritten letter is always so appreciated! It could be a thank you note, a check in, just some words of encouragement or a good quotes, or even a funny joke!
  9. Be kind to your server or cashier! A nice conversation with you could be the only one they have that day at their job. Spread that kindness!
  10. Share what you are grateful for! Sharing things you are grateful for can encourage others to think about what they are grateful for. It reminds us that we have a lot of good in our lives and can kickstart that joy!
  11. Create something for someone! A drawing, painting, photo, note, something you usually sell, anything. Being creative can help put yourself in a good mindset and giving it to someone else can help spread so much joy!
  12. Leave a positive comment on a social media post! This could be a friend, family member, or even a business page you follow! Kind words can mean so much and when put publicly it can encourage others to do the same.
  13. Bring something to a friend! With good friends you can usually tell what they need. Dropping off even the smallest of things can spread so much joy to a friend who may really need it! The gift itself isn’t too important, its the thought that counts!
  14. Call or FaceTime someone you haven’t checked in with in a while! It is always nice to catch up with a friend and see what is going on in their life. Set up a FaceTime coffee date and enjoy each other’s company!
  15. Lend your favorite book to a friend! I don’t know about you but things like that just make my heart so happy.
  16. Just being nice! Greeting everyone, sharing a smile, speaking kindly and remaining uplifting in general can spread so much joy!
  17. Make someone laugh! Whether its a friend, co-worker or stranger, making others laugh is fun 🙂
  18. Make your favorite meal or bake something for someone! Make some cookies and take them to friends, make a meal for your family or pick up donuts in the morning before work!
  19. Share what brings you joy! Simply sharing what brings you joy can spread it to others so quickly.
  20. Create a care package for someone! Especially right now, caring for those that are sick is so important. You can make them a nice little care package and drop it off at their door, completely socially distant!
  21. Be kind to yourself! You can’t spread joy into others if you aren’t kind to yourself. Make YOU a priority too!

I hope that this year is much kinder to us all than the last. I hope that even through the struggles and challenges you can find ways to spread joy to others! Here’s to a joyful year!

Make a plan, shift your mindset.

If you know me, you know I LOVE my planner and I could not survive without it. I plan just about every single minute of my life and I like to stick to my plan. Writing everything out in different colors into my planner honestly makes me so happy. I love seeing everything I have going on for the month and planning out my day each day. It gives me some organization and accountability.

Like myself, I’m sure you have one thousand different things going on and it can feel overwhelming at times. From meetings to appointments, work to family, social to just things on your to do list… there are so many things to accomplish within the day, week or even month. Writing all of those things out on paper and seeing them altogether can be a source of anxious feelings. I don’t know about you, but usually when I get anxious I don’t make the best decisions and tend to avoid whatever is making me anxious. When in reality, if I just shift my mindset I can conquer the anxious feeling and whatever else I need to get done.

When I look at my calendar now, I think about all the things I GET to do throughout the month. When I create my plan for the day it consists of things that I need to get done, but those are also things I GET to do. I GET to go to work every day because I have a job. I GET to workout each day because I have a body that is capable of doing so. I GET to go to the grocery store because I have money to spend and a body to fuel. I GET to do laundry because I have a washer, dryer and running water at my house. Changes your whole perspective, right?

Now, I know there are just some things that you HAVE to do. But challenge yourself to take that thing that you really don’t want to do or just don’t enjoy doing and think about what you get to do instead. Sure, you still have to do the thing, but it doesn’t seem so bad when you get to do it. It’s a simple way to remind yourself that no matter how rough your day is or how many things you have to get done, there is always something to be grateful for.

So this week, I challenge you to reframe your mindset on your plans and to do lists. It’s so simple, but so freeing, to start off your day being grateful instead of anxious or frustrated with what your day looks like.

I hope you have the best week and get all the things accomplished!

All the love,

Amber

Step into the uncomfy.

Recently I’ve been doing a lot of things that scare me. These things range in level but nonetheless, they scare me. By nature I always take precaution in every single thing that I do. My mind immediately goes to the “what ifs” and the “maybe this could happens”. I am constantly thinking about what could go wrong and what could happen in every situation and decision(I’m an enneagram 6 if you can’t tell). I know it can be to my detriment but it’s how I have always been.

So recently I have decided to start doing things that scare me. Things that are getting me out of my comfort zone and into the uncomfy, as I like to call it. I’ve been doing some little things but also some pretty big things, at least they are to me. If you would have asked me a year ago if I would be running a blog and letting everyone know my thoughts and feelings about things I would have thought you were crazy. I always wanted to start this blog, but it was a scary feeling to put myself out into a space and share my thoughts, feelings and ideas. That sounded like one big space to be judged, and it kind of is. But once I started doing it, it wasn’t so scary anymore. I found that I have a lot more support than I ever thought I would. I also found that even if people are judging me, it’s okay because I am comfortable with what I am putting out there because it is genuine. The confidence that has stemmed from my comfortability with what I am producing means so much more than a scary feeling that internet strangers might judge me. My self growth and self worth means more than other people’s opinions.

Let me say it again for you- My self growth and self worth means more than other people’s opinions.

If YOU are happy with YOU, then that is what truly matters. If you aren’t happy with you, maybe you need to go into the uncomfy and do something that scares you. Gain some control back in your life and stop letting your comfort zone dictate what you do everyday. It could be anything. Start small, say hi to a stranger if that scares you. Or go big and force yourself to call up that person you’ve liked forever and ask them on a date. It honestly doesn’t matter where you start, but start.

You don’t want to think about those things in the uncomfy and wonder what would have happened if you would have just gone for it. Just do it and see what happens! Because even if that first thing you choose in the uncomfy doesn’t work out, my guess is that there’s something out there that will. Keep going for it, keep doing the scary things. You might find something that brings you more joy than anything in the world. Or maybe you will find something that leads to a new passion or career. But most importantly, you might find a way to love your self and become more comfortable with yourself. There is no greater win than that.

I hope you find a way to step into the uncomfy this week, it could be the best step you ever take.

All the love,

Amber