Make a plan, shift your mindset.

If you know me, you know I LOVE my planner and I could not survive without it. I plan just about every single minute of my life and I like to stick to my plan. Writing everything out in different colors into my planner honestly makes me so happy. I love seeing everything I have going on for the month and planning out my day each day. It gives me some organization and accountability.

Like myself, I’m sure you have one thousand different things going on and it can feel overwhelming at times. From meetings to appointments, work to family, social to just things on your to do list… there are so many things to accomplish within the day, week or even month. Writing all of those things out on paper and seeing them altogether can be a source of anxious feelings. I don’t know about you, but usually when I get anxious I don’t make the best decisions and tend to avoid whatever is making me anxious. When in reality, if I just shift my mindset I can conquer the anxious feeling and whatever else I need to get done.

When I look at my calendar now, I think about all the things I GET to do throughout the month. When I create my plan for the day it consists of things that I need to get done, but those are also things I GET to do. I GET to go to work every day because I have a job. I GET to workout each day because I have a body that is capable of doing so. I GET to go to the grocery store because I have money to spend and a body to fuel. I GET to do laundry because I have a washer, dryer and running water at my house. Changes your whole perspective, right?

Now, I know there are just some things that you HAVE to do. But challenge yourself to take that thing that you really don’t want to do or just don’t enjoy doing and think about what you get to do instead. Sure, you still have to do the thing, but it doesn’t seem so bad when you get to do it. It’s a simple way to remind yourself that no matter how rough your day is or how many things you have to get done, there is always something to be grateful for.

So this week, I challenge you to reframe your mindset on your plans and to do lists. It’s so simple, but so freeing, to start off your day being grateful instead of anxious or frustrated with what your day looks like.

I hope you have the best week and get all the things accomplished!

All the love,

Amber

Step into the uncomfy.

Recently I’ve been doing a lot of things that scare me. These things range in level but nonetheless, they scare me. By nature I always take precaution in every single thing that I do. My mind immediately goes to the “what ifs” and the “maybe this could happens”. I am constantly thinking about what could go wrong and what could happen in every situation and decision(I’m an enneagram 6 if you can’t tell). I know it can be to my detriment but it’s how I have always been.

So recently I have decided to start doing things that scare me. Things that are getting me out of my comfort zone and into the uncomfy, as I like to call it. I’ve been doing some little things but also some pretty big things, at least they are to me. If you would have asked me a year ago if I would be running a blog and letting everyone know my thoughts and feelings about things I would have thought you were crazy. I always wanted to start this blog, but it was a scary feeling to put myself out into a space and share my thoughts, feelings and ideas. That sounded like one big space to be judged, and it kind of is. But once I started doing it, it wasn’t so scary anymore. I found that I have a lot more support than I ever thought I would. I also found that even if people are judging me, it’s okay because I am comfortable with what I am putting out there because it is genuine. The confidence that has stemmed from my comfortability with what I am producing means so much more than a scary feeling that internet strangers might judge me. My self growth and self worth means more than other people’s opinions.

Let me say it again for you- My self growth and self worth means more than other people’s opinions.

If YOU are happy with YOU, then that is what truly matters. If you aren’t happy with you, maybe you need to go into the uncomfy and do something that scares you. Gain some control back in your life and stop letting your comfort zone dictate what you do everyday. It could be anything. Start small, say hi to a stranger if that scares you. Or go big and force yourself to call up that person you’ve liked forever and ask them on a date. It honestly doesn’t matter where you start, but start.

You don’t want to think about those things in the uncomfy and wonder what would have happened if you would have just gone for it. Just do it and see what happens! Because even if that first thing you choose in the uncomfy doesn’t work out, my guess is that there’s something out there that will. Keep going for it, keep doing the scary things. You might find something that brings you more joy than anything in the world. Or maybe you will find something that leads to a new passion or career. But most importantly, you might find a way to love your self and become more comfortable with yourself. There is no greater win than that.

I hope you find a way to step into the uncomfy this week, it could be the best step you ever take.

All the love,

Amber

Why being left out is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Being left out honestly does suck. But I believe it is inevitable. No matter what happens in life, you will never be included in everything. Things happen and people make bad choices. Sometimes you will be deliberately left out and other times things happen and it is not done on purpose. But whatever the reason, it can still hurt. I believe that social media and the idea of FOMO(fear of missing out) has made the idea of being left out that much worse and that much harder to deal with. But having experienced this at a young age in a deliberate, and public, way, it shaped my decisions from there on out.

You see, back in high school I was deliberately left out of something. To spare the details, because it really doesn’t matter anymore, I was left out of something that was kept a secret. It was revealed that I was left out in a pretty public way. It was humiliating and I was pretty hurt by it all. What hurt me the most was the way it was handled, not even the fact that I was left out.

Believe me, I have been left out on more than that occasion. I have been left out before and probably will be again at some point I’m sure. But this was just a pivotal moment and changed my thought process on the whole thing. So I attribute that experience to helping me grow into the person I am today.

It made me a better person. It made me learn how to stick up for myself in ways I had never done before. It made me learn to stand on my own two feet and not be so dependent on others. It taught me to be gracious with others even when I wanted to be upset with them. It taught me to be loyal and love other people even more. It taught me to try my hardest to ensure other people are included. It taught me to notice others more and pay attention to their feelings. It taught me to be both gentle and deliberate with my actions knowing that the way I handle things says more about me than my actions.

I’m not perfect by any means, and I am sure I have left others out unintentionally. I’m sure I have hurt others feelings and made the wrong choices. But because it happened to me, I am more aware of the repercussions. I am aware that people can get their feelings hurt by my actions. I am also more willing to step up and apologize when I have made a mistake or hurt someone.

I took that moment in time and navigated my way through to becoming a better person. I worked hard to not let it harden me and even remained friends with those that hurt me. Sure, the friendship wasn’t quite what it was before, but friendships change as you grow anyways. I didn’t let it make me bitter, instead I learned to be better. To be better at friendships, to be better at relationships in general, to actively choose be a better person each day. It didn’t happen overnight and I really had to work toward it, and am still making progress today. But I am proud of the person that being left out has pushed me to be.

I hope that you are able to take situations like this and turn them into lessons. No matter what happens, you deserve to be treated with love and respect. I hope you know that and I hope that when others treat you poorly you continue to treat them with love and respect back, no matter what they have done to you. It is a never ending fight to continue to learn and grow. I don’t think that making the right choices will be easy 100% of the time, no matter how much you learn and grow. Choosing to be a better person is just that, a choice that has to be made each and every day.

So what are you going to choose today?

All the love,

Amber

Just be nice.

In this day and age, people are so busy all the time. Even throughout having to quarantine people have remained involved in so many things to keep themselves busy. I know that I have always been a person that likes to keep themselves busy because I really enjoy being involved in a lot of things and filling my days with things to do. I like the lifestyle of always being on the go and getting things done. I think that a lot of people are like that as well.

Think about the people in your life, you likely know them from one aspect of your own life. You see them through your own unique lens. You know them because you met at this organization you decided to be a part of. So you only really see them at this organizations events and meetings. You may learn various facts about them through conversation but you still have that unique lens of who they really are and what they are going through. They could be going through something at home, or their pet could have passed away recently, or maybe they are actually a spy for their day job and you just have no idea. My point is, because of circumstance, environment just being busy ourselves, and simply because life doesn’t allow it, you will never fully know what others have going on in their lives.

You have this lens that you see people through. You take one off and put on another that is unique to them. We all have the ability to see people differently because people are different. You will never be able to have the exact same relationship with multiple people because people are different. You might be thinking….. well duh. That is common sense, right? But along with that, you will never fully see all that they are going through, processing, dealing with and experiencing. So the lens with which you see them through could be extremely distorted. You have “rose colored glasses,” if you will.

Because of this, just be nice. Be nice to EVERYONE you interact with. Your barista, the teller at the bank, the cashier at Target, the kid in the drive thru, your coworkers, your friends, your family, everyone. You NEVER know what others are going through. No matter how close you are to them, just be nice. You genuinely don’t know everything they have going on. So just be nice! You could make their day.

And who knows, it could make your day too! I know that spreading joy and love always makes my day better. Just simply telling someone to have a good day, or asking how they are can make all the difference for both of you. If you are the one going through things people don’t know about, still just be nice! It could turn back on you and turn your day around!

I hope you go out this week and spread some joy. Whether it’s to your friends and family or maybe to a stranger, just do it! You never regret being a nice person. Be the light you need and you will be the light others need in the process.

All the love,

Amber

Sometimes you just have to throw a shoe at yourself!

Okay, so you probably read that title and are wondering what the heck I am talking about. Well let me take you back to when I was around 12 or 13 years old… I had a dance teacher, who I am now besties with, that would occasionally throw shoes at us. Now, I know how that sounds, but let me tell you… we deserved it! Sometimes she would throw them because we were talking too much or because we were goofing off, but other times it would be because we didn’t remember choreography or because we messed up the same part for the 1,000th time in a row. All things we definitely shouldn’t have done! Also, please understand that it was all done in good fun and no one was ever injured by a shoe in dance class… just a disclaimer! It was something that became a regular part of our class and helped us get our lives together so Ms. Sara didn’t have to throw shoes that day.

Anyways, this became a thing for the two of us. When I graduated high school and started doing my thing, my life came full circle and I started assisting Ms. Sara at the local high school with the dance team. It was such a fun opportunity to work with her in a way I never had before. So pretty soon we get our groove working together, which was SO good and SO seamless, and we are just moving right along. One day at practice the girls are were messing around, all in good fun, so I took off my shoe and threw it at them! Which made everyone laugh and then get back on track. Soon, this just became our normal thing. I would threaten to throw my shoe at them or actually do it, and we would laugh and then get back on track.

My point is, we all get off track sometimes whether it’s at dance practice, work or just in life. We just have to find what helps us reel it back in and move forward. I like using the shoe analogy for this because it becomes way more light hearted. I have a heavy history of being very hard on myself and this helps to lighten that. When I think about having a shoe thrown at me, it never was something so serious and truly threatening. It is something that just tells me I’m off track and helps me to laugh it off and get back to business.

I hope that you aren’t being too hard on yourself if you get off track. I hope that you are able to give yourself some grace and patience. You are doing what you can! If you feel you need to refocus and get back to business, just throw a shoe at yourself and get going!

All the love,

Amber

Getting back in the race.

Without a doubt the last few months have been very draining on me. I started working full time at a small business, with only two other full time employees, in January. So just as I was getting into the swing of things and getting my groove, BOOM. The pandemic hits and we have to completely rearrange and change the business to survive the times. Long story short, it has been the biggest whirlwind of my life. I have grown so much in the last few months and I am grateful for the challenges that this all has brought me. I not only grew professionally but also just as a human. I have learned so much about myself through this season, I can’t even explain it.

Towards the beginning of this journey I was motivated, all in, focused and just had my eyes on making it through. So I was imagining this finish line of making it to the other side having learned all the things, been so strong and maintained stamina. But at this point in the season, we are kind of at a standstill. I want so badly to keep pushing toward that finish line but it feels as if the race when from 5 miles to 55 miles. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I started, and now that I’m in I have to finish.

We are all in the same race. Maybe some of us are walking, some are jogging and some are running full speed ahead. Maybe like me, you started at a sprint and have slowed to a walk or a full on stop. Wherever you are, recognize it and take a peek back at how far you have come. This season is HARD you guys. No matter where you are at, you made it where you are now. You are closer to the finish line and that means something!

This past week I let myself get into a funk for more reasons than just this, but those are for a different day. My funk was partially due to the fact I was tired. I had been focused on running this race so much and getting all that I could out of it that I didn’t stop to rest. So I decided to try to rest. But then when I did I realized that the finish line had moved farther away than I thought. So getting started again felt like starting over. And starting over can be scary and overwhelming. But starting over can also be something beautiful and lead you so many places than you ever thought it could.

If you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed with the uncertainty of this season, I hope you still push through. I hope you gain the courage to get back up on your feet and get moving again. Just take it step by step, at your own pace. You can run a race, come in last, and still accomplish running the race. Give yourself a moment, then get back to it. You have more people on the sidelines cheering for you than you think. More people are encouraged and motivated by you than you realize.

So I challenge you to get back in the race and keep pushing through this week. Maybe that means encouraging someone else or checking in with a friend. Maybe that means getting back into your routine, working out more or preparing your meals. Maybe pushing through just looks like getting a solid 8 hours of sleep each night. Whatever it means to you, you CAN do this. Have your moment, then get back in the race. You’ve got this!

All the love,

Amber

Navigating this season and where to go next.

I think it goes without saying that the last few months have been uncharted territory. I honestly debated not writing about the current state of the world but as I continue to navigate through all I have gone through during this season, I felt compelled to create a post. These are just ideas that have hit my brain within the last few months and are my kind of growth mindset version of what is happening in my world and how I am interpreting it all. So bare with my ideas and take what you need!

There are multiple realities to all situations.

This has been on my mind heavy in the last few weeks. It is honestly my favorite thing I am learning throughout this time. I think that it is important to remember in all situations that there are multiple realities. What you experience will NEVER be exactly the same as someone else. You have a completely unique view on just about everything because all of your experiences leading up to the present moment have molded your view on life and all it holds. Your reality is different than mine and THAT IS OKAY. Your reality is different than those around you- your family, friends, coworkers, etc.

In navigating through my thoughts, emotions and day to day life I have found that this is such a relaxing idea. I think it could be for most people. Understanding that things are genuinely not always what they seem helps me to work through how I feel about situations without feeling as though I could have done something to change the outcome. Sometimes, things just are the way they are because people are the way they are. Even though everyone has a different perspective, we are all in this together. And that is the beauty of it. People live each day in their own reality and all we can do is do our best to ensure our part in their reality is positive, honest and loving.

It’s usually not about you.

This one just hits ya right in the ego, right? This one has been the BEST thing to work through. It goes hand in hand with the multiple realities idea, but it is a bit more focused. Sometimes we can let people get to us when they do certain things. It is easy to carry those things with you when they make you angry, upset or even annoyed. It is especially important to remember when people are rude, hateful or just flat out cranky with you. I have started to take a step back and understand that it honestly (probably) isn’t about me. Their attitude, words and actions usually are not about me at all, but about what they have going on in their own reality.

I highly recommend taking a step back and remembering this when you are letting others get to you for whatever reason. Maybe they have something going on in their life you don’t know about. Maybe they are just working through things or just received some bad news. Maybe they just genuinely didn’t think what they said hurt you. We never know unless they choose to share it with us. If they haven’t shared it with you, it probably isn’t about you, so don’t let it get to you.

I challenge you to show those that “get to you” some compassion and understanding today. How can you be there for them in a way that you haven’t tried before? How can you show up for them? Or maybe, how can you work through your feelings about them and let them go? Which leads me to my next, and last, point.

Let it go, or set it down and come back for it.

Yes, you read that right. Shout out to Elsa for giving this idea a theme song! Let it gooooo! I hope you sang that like I just did. Anyways, please just let things go. Life has proven to be heavy these last few months and you can only hold up so much. There is a reason that you can actually feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders when you work through problems- because all you do all day long is collect things and hold onto them. We focus so much on consuming so many things in our day that we forget we can only hold onto so many things at once. Like a server who has two arms full of plates and glasses, we have to be able to balance everything we are holding onto. If we can’t we will have to set it down. Maybe we come back for it later, or maybe we just let it go.

There are so many little things in life we seem to hold onto nowadays. I think partially that is due to living our lives online and feeling all the pressure to have it altogether all the time. But that topic is for a whole other day…. But seriously, how many things are you still holding onto that you should have let go or put down by now? I did an exercise in my journal by writing out all the things I was holding onto in my life. Let me tell you, it took up 2 ENTIRE PAGES! I was holding onto so many things I should have just let go by now. I’m talking about everything from tough memories to small things that were said. I let go of SO many things and felt so relieved after. I also made a list of things I wanted to set down for now and come back to later. It felt so good getting those things out of my mind and being able to feel the weight lessen.

This season has brought on so many things in everyone’s lives. I hope you are able to let some things go so you can carry yourself wherever you plan to go to next.

Where to go next.

Ya know, I have no idea where you can go next. But what I do know is that the last few months have been uncharted territory for us all. Whatever you had to do, however you had to change your life, wherever you had to go, however you had to step up or step down- it was all hard, challenging and different. Your life did not go as you planned and you were probably presented with more stress than normal. Understand that your experience is valid and there may need to be some things you work through regarding your feelings and mindset throughout. You get to decide if you are going to look at your experience and learn or if you’re going to just go through the motions and keep living with the same ideas and perspective.

I hope that where you choose to go next is in the direction of growth and understanding for yourself. I hope you choose to give yourself grace. I hope you create space to work through the fact that you are living in a situation you probably never saw coming.

Wherever you go next, I hope it is truly the right direction for you. And if it doesn’t turn out to be, set it down and choose a different direction!

All the love,

Amber

Not everyone has the same heart as you and that is okay.

So after a recent conversation with friends something has been weighing on me. Not everyone has the same heart as you. That is a hard pill for me to swallow because I have a big heart, like a really big heart. I am here to say that is not always a good thing. I spend more time thinking about others than I could even imagine thinking about myself. When I am in a room with others I want them to feel comfortable, even when I am in their house. I always want people to feel loved and accepted. I choose my words carefully depending on who I talk to because I always want them to feel better after having a conversation with me. I think about what others tell me often so I can be sure to follow up with them about what is going on in their lives. Spreading love and joy is an active part of my life, as it is for so many people.

The thing about this is that not everyone has the same level of love and compassion for you as you have for them. You could be so conscious of your support and love for someone and they could in fact not show you an ounce of the same love back. Your friends are going to say things that hurt your feelings, they aren’t going to be as considerate as you are to them. People won’t always remember what you share with them because they won’t make it a priority to know what is going on in your life as you do with them. And that hurts, right? When it is not reciprocated it can be defeating. But only if you choose.

Not everyone has the same heart as you. If you choose to let it defeat you, then it will.

Not everyone has the same heart as you and that’s okay. If you choose, you can continue to spread that love and joy and compassion. You can continue to be the light in everyone’s lives because chances are that you will touch at least one person and help them to be the light in others lives too. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is if you are happy with who you are and how you’re living your life. To me, ensuring that I am a caring, compassionate and kind person will always be important.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of times where I have put my foot in my mouth. I have said something that I thought and as soon as it got out of my mouth I knew it was a bad idea to have even thought it. I am sure that I have hurt someone without even realizing it, we all have. But the important part about growing is that you take everything as a learning opportunity. When things like this arise, you can step up, apologize and move on. Try again the next day to be the most caring, compassionate and kind soul in the room.

You choose each day the kind of person you want to show up as and be remembered by. Will it be encouraging and a light for others or will it be bitter because you’ve been burned by hearts that maybe aren’t as big as yours?

What will you choose today?