3 things I learned in September.

Happy spooky season y’all! It is October 1st and I am so pumped for fall, cool weather and alllllll the spooky stuff. However, you know me, I can’t move on into October without reflecting on September. I have definitely learned a lot in September and I am super grateful for it all. Here’s a look into what all I’ve learned-

  1. You get to design your own life. For me, it is so easy to let go of the things that I want to do and do things for other people. I would literally base my life around what I felt others were expecting me to do with my life. I did this for SO long. So long that I ended up feeling stuck and so unhappy. This led to some really rough times, not good decisions and a bad mindset overall. But once I finally broke myself out of the cycle and started designing my life to be what I wanted it to look like, I was able to break that mindset build things in a way that serve me.
  2. Your words carry far beyond how you feel when you say them. Things slip, we’re all human. But just remember that your words carry far beyond when you say them. How you’re feeling should never be an excuse for saying something unkind, not serving or unbecoming of yourself.
  3. All you can do at the end of the day is keep trying and keep being you. I used to be one giant ball of anxiety trying to hold myself to the expectations of others and myself. Once I started to let go of all of that and just simply try to be my best self each day, things got so much better.

So there it is! I am grateful for September and all that it brought into my life. It has been a season of so much change and while some things have been bittersweet, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, for you too! So no matter what season of life you are in, just remember you are where you need to be. If you feel that longing that you are not, you also have the tools to make a change.

Let’s go out and make October the best month yet! Here’s to another month full of lessons, love and everything else in between.

All the love,

Amber

3 things I learned in August.

As we end August today I wanted to recap a few things that I have learned throughout the month:

You get to choose your hard. I was chatting with my big bro @jrthetrainer at the gym last week about something that I’ve read before (I cannot remember where, or who said it, so if someone can let me know!) but it’s really starting to resonate with me lately. “choose your hard”. Being unhappy is hard, working towards being your best self is hard. Choose your hard. Being unhealthy is hard, making healthy choices all day, every day is hard. Choose your hard. Working towards your goals is hard. Staying stagnant and not understanding why you aren’t getting anywhere is hard. Choose your hard. You get to choose your hard everyday. Lately I’ve been choosing the hard that’s getting me closer to where I want to be in all aspects of my life. I’m breaking bad habits and building better ones. I’m forgiving myself for past mistakes. I’m working towards the person that I’ve always wanted to be. I’m putting in the work each and every day for the first time in a long time. I hope you choose your hard each day intentionally. It’s going to be hard no matter what, so make sure you’re choosing the path that gets you closer to where you want to be,

When you stop worrying what people think about you & focus on growing, improving and evolving, you glow better. I used to be so consumed in what other people thought of me and how other people perceived me and what others would say about me. Throughout the last 9 months or so, this has changed. Once I stopped caring so much about what others felt about me or had to say about me, things got so much better. Trust me, there was a time where I was ALLLL consumed in what others were saying that I was not worried about my own self. I was a mess. As an enneagram 6, something I learned about myself is that one of my insecurities is security and safety. Talk about a lot to unpack. But throughout the last month or so everything has started to come to fruition with this lesson. I learned to stay in my lane, focus on me and what I think about me. The only things I think about when it comes to others now is how I can communicate and ensure they leave me feeling more positive than when they came to me.

Trust the timing of your life. You will always end up where you need to be and when. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason to get you where you need to be when you need to be there. There is always something to be learned, understood again and valued from it all. This was the basis on which I built and had the idea for Caffeinated Growth and it just hit home again this month as the pieces of my new journey fell into place. I couldn’t understand it all before, and I do now.

Overall, August was a pretty crazy month for me. But I learned a lot and I am super grateful for where I am in life. I hope you are too. And if you’re not in the greatest place right now, just remember that we are starting a new month tomorrow and you can start over and get to work to get you in a better position by the end of next month. Shift your mindset into growth, let go of your past mistakes and start to mold yourself into the person you want to be.

All the love,

Amber

Don’t lose yourself at the expense of anyone or anything.

While growth and change are important to life, losing yourself at the expense of anyone or anything is never worth it. As a recovering people pleaser I understand how quickly this can happen and by the time you realize that you’ve lost a part of yourself, it’s too late. The truth is, there are many different things that may make you lose yourself for someone or something. I’m sure there are more and I am aware that everyone is so different. So if you do feel you have lost yourself or a part of yourself at the expense of someone or something, I encourage you to do some self-reflection or even get help if you feel that is necessary! Sometimes we need to understand why we are doing things to help us 1. not do those things and 2. learn and grow to help us get into better situations and achieve our own goals. How you get there is up to you! There is absolutely no wrong or better way to understand yourself and change your patterns and habits.

People pleasing so big.

I have been a people pleaser pretty much my whole life. While the intentions were always good, it didn’t always work out well for me. While I usually got the job done in ensuring everyone else was happy and cared for, I usually dropped the ball for myself. I typically did not take care of myself and continued to put others first. Which I do believe is a great quality but can be somewhat damming in these circumstances. When I was in the habit of people pleasing, I did it so often that I didn’t even realize how much of myself that I had lost. It was a hard realization but I have found my way back to the things I want to be and the things I want for myself in life.

Because you love them or because they are your friend.

I’m going to keep this one short and sweet, if they loved you or if they were your true friend, they wouldn’t let you or want you lose yourself. They would truly want the best for you regardless of what it does for them. At the end of the day, you have to go to bed with who you are. Not what you’ve done for other people. While being someone that does things for others is a great trait to have, if you are losing yourself because of it, it is not worth it. There has to be a balance between filling your cup and keeping others full.

Because someone told you, or made you feel like, you had to choose a certain path.

You ALWAYS reserve the right to change your mind. No one should make you feel like you have to continue to do something that simply isn’t you or isn’t you anymore. Again, if it is costing you yourself, it is not worth it. With this one there is a certain level of communication that needs to be done. Is it someone else holding you back? Or Is it you holding yourself back?

Now, I think that holding yourself accountable and setting appropriate boundaries definitely comes into play with ensuring you don’t lose yourself. Don’t get so caught up in the acts of daily life that you forget to live life for you and not for other people. You deserve to live the life you want. Take complete responsibility for yourself and in doing so, find the freedom to live how you choose! If you are truly good with the choices you make at heart, then keep on living your life!

Remember, you deserve to live YOUR life on your own terms. Not other people’s and not what you feel like your terms HAVE to be. Go out there and make good choices, including ones for yourself 🙂

All the love,

Amber

Get back to it, no matter how long your break is.

So if ya haven’t noticed I took a little hiatus from writing… well not so much from writing but from sharing. I was going through a lot and while I think it is so important to be transparent, I also believe that it is equally as important to not share when things are fresh. While feelings may not change I think that words can. So I feel it was best to take that little break so I could rest, recharge and come back to the words when I was ready. I am so grateful to be back and to keep sharing and writing as I keep on with my journey. I am back to it and ready to grow!

Today I want to share that it is okay to take a break from things. While building habits is so important, it is equally important to rest when you need it. Resting is so much more than physical, it is emotional and mental too. Taking a mental or emotional break can be so beneficial to your health and overall well being. Whether that is simply taking a night in to watch your favorite show, reading a good book, making your favorite meal, spending time with your favorite person or taking yourself on a solo date to do one of your favorite things, it can be so helpful to your life. It is so important to recognize when you need that break so you don’t completely fizzle out. If you are able to refill your cup before it is completely empty, it will be a lot more efficient for yourself and give you that burst of energy you might need! Here are some signs that I notice in myself to let me know that I need a break:

-I start to want to stay home more than normal.

-I don’t find joy in the things I normally do; going to the gym, reading, etc.

-I take my emotion into everything and can’t let things go.

-I can’t journal because there is almost too much to write out and work through.

Now, these might be different in you. So it’s important to learn and understand what you need from yourself. So when I feel that I need this break, I push myself to take it. Most of the time this looks like spending an entire weekend refilling my cup. This can look like staying in bed all weekend and binge watching a show or reading, or going grocery shopping, cleaning my car, doing laundry and countless other productive things that help make me feel good. Whatever I need, I do it! No ifs ands or buts. It makes me feel so much better to give myself that time and that break. And when I need to get back to it, I get up and do it!

No matter how long I am down and out for, I will always get back up. This last time I was really down, it was for a long time. Now, I obviously didn’t have the luxury to avoid all my responsibilities in the world and just relax and take a break. But I certainly took all the time that I could between responsibilities and did my best to pull myself out. I (obviously) took a break from writing, I have taken a break with my business and even took a break from my health. Which I definitely should have been back on top of a lot sooner than I when I got back to it, but instead of shaming myself, I pulled it together and got back to it!

My whole point of all of this is that no matter how long you need a break or what the break looks like, just take it! Fill your cup back up the best way you know how, then once you are up to it, get back to it! No matter how long you stay down, just get back up. Give yourself some love, grace and kindness, then give yourself a pep talk to show up and get back to all the work you want to do! You deserve it for yourself.

All the love,

Amber

be selfish.

I hope you’re selfish today, tomorrow and maybe always. I hope that each day you wake up and choose yourself over just about everything and everyone else. You are important enough to give yourself that kind of love, focus and attention. You deserve to wholeheartedly choose yourself over and over again each day. You owe yourself the love you give to those around you.

You see, for most of my life I was living to please those around me. I tip toed around to make sure that no one was mad at me. I made decisions that I didn’t necessarily like because I knew that it wouldn’t let down or inconvenience others. I lived to make my parents proud(which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, don’t get me wrong). But I put so much pressure on myself to ensure that everything was happy and everyone else was happy that I was kind of miserable half the time. My anxiety was through the roof when I was doing this. I would tell myself that making those kinds of sacrifices were worth it because everyone else around me was happy and that is what matters.

As I got older I started to learn that there were truly times that I needed to choose myself over other people and things. It was such an important journey of realizing who I was, who I wanted to be and what my values truly are. I think it is so easy to get caught up in our day to day that we don’t slow down to think about what we are doing for ourselves and our own goals and values. If your mindset is consumed with other people, what they have, if they are happy, what they are doing, what works for them, their newest thing, etc. Then we can’t expect to grow ourselves. It is truly about shifting your mindset inwards, towards yourself.

There are a couple action steps that I took as I began wanting to put myself first more and become a little selfish:

  • Write out your values.
    • By values I mean what you need to be in order to become who you want to be. While listing these out I realized that I was striving high with a lot of values, like a lot. So I decided to narrow my list again to just 10. My values include- loyalty, creativity, consistency, commitment, positivity, motivation, compassion, overall health(mental and physical), service to others and education.
    • I believe this step is important because it is a reminder of who you are and who you need to show up as everyday. Your choices and actions should align with your values, ideally, and if you know you true values it is easier to show up with them each day. Obviously no one is perfect and things happen, sometimes we all do things and make choices that go against our values. We’re human. But progress is progress.
  • Write out your priorities.
    • Your priorities are different from your values in that your priorities are specific things that are important to your lifestyle and the way you want to live your life. In choosing my priorities I thought about what all I wanted to consume my time. Time is valuable and important. The way you spend it is crucial to who you are and who you want to be.
    • My priorities have recently shifted a TON. This was the piece that I was personally lacking. I let my priorities go when I felt the need to please everyone else around me. So I was missing out completely on my own priorities. No wonder I felt lost, out of touch with myself and like I was just going through the motions everyday.
    • My priorities now include- my family, my physical health, my mental health, my friendships, learning/personal growth, my business, my blog, my money and my education.

After I wrote both of these out, I put them together. This is now how I choose to live my life. By upholding my values to the best of my ability each day and by choosing which priority I will spend my time cultivating throughout the day. These are the things that are important to me and I am proud of myself for learning to be selfish in this way. It is freeing to realize that by being selfish in this way, you are actually being a better person.

There is that old saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And it is SO true. You cannot pour from an empty cup. It is also exhausting to completely empty your cup and THEN fill it all the way back up. Instead if you realize you lost a bit of volume in your cup, go ahead and refill that bit as soon as you can. That way you don’t have to feel too empty. Be selfish and fill your cup up as you go.

I hope you go out today and be selfish. I hope you choose you and who you want to become over anything and anyone else. You deserve that choice and the people that are meant to be in your life will understand your need to be a little selfish. If they don’t, that is alright. A self growth journey can be something that brings new people in and lets go of others. Choosing yourself will be worth so much more in the end.

All the love,

Amber

Affirmations for your week.

This week I thought it would be good to write out some affirmations for your week! This is something I have been doing on my own for about 3 months now. I have since shared this practice with my students to help them through stressful moments and it has helped me become more secure in things going on around me.

I know that affirmations can feel strange at first. What even are they? How do you use them? Why do you say or write them? Personally, I write them down because they will stick in my brain better. I have also become quite the journaling lover so it just makes sense for me. I think about things I want to do or be to become closer to the best version of myself. I also think about what is currently going on in my life, what I have anxiety about, what is making me happy, if there is anything I want to change, etc. Then I write out affirmations that help me narrow in my focus on where I want to grow. I write them out as if I already am that thing or doing that thing. It’s almost a way of speaking it into existence so you can start to become the person that you want to be. I have seen a lot of growth in myself over the past few months simply by using them.

These are some that I have used myself as well as new ones that I have found! I hope you can find one, or a few, that you resonate with!

I am enough.

I am present in every moment.

I spread love and joy to those around me.

I am more than other people’s opinions of me.

I can do hard things.

I am committed to my own growth, regardless of the people around me.

I attract positivity and healthy relationships.

I believe in myself wholeheartedly.

I am strong.

I am a light for others.

I am powerful.

I am safe, loved and secure.

I am proud of myself.

Good things are coming my way.

I am allowed to say no.

I am capable of anything I set my mind to.

I am working hard towards my goals.

Sometimes things go wrong, but I get to choose the way I react.

It is my choice how my day will go and I choose to remain positive.

I am calm and peaceful.

I am good at what I do and I work hard at it every day.

I am grateful.

I am meant to do great things.

I accept myself and all that I am.

I am capable of change while loving who I am wholeheartedly.

I am not where I want to be, but I am working to get there each day.

I find value in being alone.

I take things one step at a time.

My sensitivity is a strength of mine.

I will use failure as a stepping stone on my path.

I will let go of things that are not meant to me.

I do not have to take anyone’s shit.

I will not look back, only forward.

I believe in myself each and everyday.

I hope you were able to find something hit home for you. I want to encourage you to add in 3 affirmations to your week this week! They could be the same everyday or switch them up depending on what you need! Keeping your focus on affirmations that resonate you can help create such a sense of self awareness that you might not get otherwise. It has helped me to feel more myself every day, and I know they could do wonders in your life too!

All the love,

Amber

Growing pains.

We’ve all had them, right? Growing up comes with growing pains. Clearly there comes a time when we stop physically growing and our joints can relax…. at least for a while. Well, I think that as we continue to grow mentally, emotionally and maturity wise, we open ourselves up to a new version of growing pains. I think it is important to recognize that choosing to learn and grow is not always fun and inspiring. Sometimes it is asking yourself the hard questions, trusting your newfound knowledge and challenging your old habits and decisions. Sometimes there is pain within the growth.

There are so many opportunities to grow each day and sometimes when those opportunities present themselves, we want NOTHING to do with them. Trust me, I get it. I am queen of side stepping those lessons for as long as possible until I finally have to face them. God has a funny way of showing you what you need to learn, over and over again, until you learn it. Whether it takes you years, months, or minutes to face those lessons and learn from them, those growing pains can show through. Even when we push them off, those pains are just still going to be there.

You know what I mean- leaving a relationship that isn’t healthy, following your dreams and leaving your current job or situation, starting a new path, choosing yourself first instead of others, cutting off a toxic friendship, understanding yourself more and making decisions that can upset others. All of these and so much more could be considered growing pains.

I think that if you are someone that is choosing to try to better your life or situation and need to make those hard decisions so you can continue to learn and grow it can be so incredibly hard. It is so much easier to stay in the comfortability of the way things are. Why fix what isn’t “broken”? Well, if it wasn’t broken then you wouldn’t feel the need to change it. It is difficult to jump up and just make those changes. I definitely struggle with understanding when it is time to change paths and when it is time to just adjust and keep going on that path.

Growing pains can also present when learning in day to day life. Learning a new task, adjusting to a new job or position, understanding what you value in life, relationships and career wise. It can be hard on yourself to push through those little moments of growth and keep going. They can pile up and up and I know it can be so easy to just give up. But doing the work to push through, grow and change can be so empowering. It’s those little moments of struggle that can add up to the biggest amounts of growth.

I write all this to say that if you find yourself coming into a season of change, growing pains are expected and you will be okay. Things may be hard now, but you will make it through. Growing pains are always temporary. Don’t confuse those growing pains with thinking you may not be making the right choices. Be confident in yourself for doing the work to choose growth for YOU.

Others may not understand your sudden change or choice to grow, and you don’t have to explain it either. As long as you are doing what you believe is right for your growth and not harming anyone, then GO FOR IT.

You are allowed to change. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to stay. You are allowed to change paths. You are allowed choose you no matter what.

If you’re feeling those growing pains, keep GROWING. Don’t let anyone stop you and surly don’t stop yourself. You absolutely deserve all the things you want in life. Make it past the growing pains and do it for yourself.

All the love,

Amber

My top personal growth books.

I love reading personal growth or personal development books! I enjoy reading a variety of book but personal growth books just give me so much to think about and help me learn so much. They give me inspiration to become a better person and share with others. So I compiled a list of my top 4 personal growth books. These each have a dear place in my heart for one reason or another! They are also pretty different in terms of information and the way they present ideas. I think there is a book for anyone interested in personal development in this list!

  • Own Your Everyday by Jordan Lee Dooley
    • If you feel stuck, overwhelmed and like you have to figure out your “calling” and have something to prove to others, this book is for you! Jordan Lee Dooley outlines ways to get out of that mindset and learn how to start showing up everyday for yourself and what you were made to do! She shares her own experiences as well as lines out strategies to help with pressure we feel, our own mindset and so many other things. Dooley also shares her faith and how it has helped immensely in her journey.
    • Jordan Lee Dooley also hosts a podcast titled “SHE”. This podcast is available on the iTunes podcast app, Spotify, Google Play and Stitcher. In her podcast she speaks on so many helpful topics, shares conversations with professionals and other influencers and gives advice in many areas of life and business. I listen to this podcast weekly and would definitely recommend!
  • Untamed by Glennon Doyle
    • Anything Glennon Doyle shares is just a masterpiece in my opinion. Her authenticity is so inspiring and draws so many to her. In Untamed she shares how to find yourself. How to break down all that you are and all that you are not and sift through it all to find the confidence to solely embrace who you are. She shares her own stories and you are sure to find something to relate to. I have read this book three times now and love it just the same. If you struggle with being 100% authentic 100% of the time, I could not recommend a better book. I think in this day and age with social media being such a huge part of life, Untamed shares a perspective that shatters that perfect profile pressure and really makes you think about what is truly important in life. Not to mention, each time I read this book it left me feeling like a badass.
  • Atomic Habits by James Clear
    • This book outlines how to build those small habits that lead to big results. It breaks everything down step by step and even shares how to break some of those bad habits you have. I really love how straightforward this book is and makes you think about things a bit more simplistically. Sometimes when we think about the big goals that we have and the things we want to become we can become overwhelmed. James Clear really presents his system in a way that feels simple to start and achieve. It isn’t about how fast we can reach those things that we want, it is about building small habits to become the person that we want. That way we can eventually achieve those big goals. I could not recommend a better book for those of us that struggle with sticking to those habits we want to build.
  • The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins
    • A simple tactic to achieve huge results. Mel Robbins introduces her 5 second rule and shows so many different scenarios in which it works for you. The book even has recommendations by others that have used the 5 second rule for themselves. They share their experience and how it has changed their lives. This book has helped change my life as well in so many ways. The biggest help being that when my alarm goes off in the morning, I use the 5 second rule and then get the heck up and out of bed! My days have honestly been transformed by this idea and I have used the 5 second rule in so many situations since first learning about it. Once you start using it, it becomes such a great tool to have!

I hope you found something interesting in at least one of these books! And if so, I hope you read the book for yourself! All of these are currently available to purchase on Amazon at the time I am writing this post! If you are currently reading or have read a good personal growth book, please comment and share it with me! I would love to get some recommendations.

All the love,

Amber

26 lessons for turning 26.

Yesterday was my 26th birthday and I thought it would be a perfect time to share and reflect on the years. Some of these are things I have been working on for a while and some of them are brand new to my life. I am by no means an expert on ANY of these. I just think that if I learned it, I can share and hopefully something will resonate with someone else! So here is a compiled list of 26 lessons for turning 26.

  1. There is no such thing as too much coffee. This is just fact, nobody can tell me otherwise.
  2. Worry about yourself too. As much time as you spend worrying about other people, make sure you pour into yourself too! This one is definitely hard for me and I have to continue reminding myself it from time to time.
  3. Begin each day with a clean slate. As easy as it is to carry things into the next day from the day before, it is important to clear out too. Starting each day with as clean of a slate as possible has been something I have been focusing on in the last few months! Don’t carry things that are too heavy.
  4. Learn to say no confidently. Learning to say no was a hard lesson, but learning to say it confidently was even harder. Girl, say no and say it with confidence!
  5. Always be reading a book. This one is self explanatory. Always be reading something!
  6. Luck isn’t real. Being lucky isn’t a thing. If you go through life thinking that some people are just “lucky” and you aren’t… that is just not healthy. If you think you’re going to get good things in life, then you will. If you think you aren’t, you won’t. Manifest that stuff y’all. Don’t rely on luck!
  7. Choose kindness as often as you can. Do it. It is so easy to get caught up in small, petty things. But at the end of the day, your actions define you. To me, there is no better definition of myself that I want to be true than kind.
  8. You can forgive others, even when they are not sorry. Oof, this one. It is so hard. When others do you wrong and aren’t even sorry about it. That is so rough. But this goes back to the “start each day with a clean slate” thing. If I carry that weight of holding that grudge or those ill feelings toward someone every time they weren’t sorry for doing something that hurt me, it would be a lot of weight I’m sure. People are going to hurt you, but you can still forgive them. Forgive them, let it go and move on. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. But it sure makes you feel better when you aren’t constantly carrying that weight.
  9. Do whatever makes you happy. Ugh, so much this. If you like to drink coffee, drink it all. If you like trading Pokemon cards, amazing! If going to the gym everyday makes you happy, awesome. If watching Dr. Phil makes you happy, great. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Who cares what other people think!
  10. It’s okay to feel lost. Give yourself some grace. Say it with me, “It is okay to feel lost”. It is okay. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to go through rough times without having something “tragic” happen in your life. You don’t have to feel okay and on track just because other people view your life as being “fine”. You have every right to feel lost and not okay. Give yourself some grace, fight to get yourself back and back on track, and keep going.
  11. Learn to be okay on your own. Learn to be okay without a significant other and without friends all the time. I have been working on this for a few years now. I am okay being on my own, but I want to reach the level of comfortability that I can go out to eat alone and just take myself out to do things without the need to even just be texting someone or on my phone the whole time. I want to reach the level of peace within myself where I am comfortable just being on my own wherever and whenever.
  12. Always trust your intuition. THIS. There have been so many times where I have questioned myself because maybe other people saw things differently or had different opinions. But then it turns out that I should have just trusted myself.
  13. Comparison is the thief of joy. Yeah yeah, we have all heard it a million times. But seriously, with the amount of things we are subjected to each day through all our screens it can become SO easy to compare yourself to others. You are you and they are them. You have been so many places and done so many things and so have they. You are both amazing. You have so many great qualities about you and so do they. You are both amazing. You see so many great things about them, others see so many great things about you. Just don’t compare yourself. Practice acknowledging those things you admire without getting down on yourself.
  14. Always be you. This does go hand in hand with the whole don’t compare thing. It just takes it a step further. I think that sometimes when we compare it is easy to fall into the mold of what is “on trend”. Sure, doing things on trend can be fun, but you don’t have to. Constantly remind yourself that it is okay to just be you.
  15. Practice being grateful. Being grateful is an active practice. We cannot just magically become grateful by doing it once. You have to continue to practice being grateful each and every day. It is work, just like anything else.
  16. If you can change your thoughts you can change your life. It’s no secret that our thoughts and the way we speak to ourselves can have a huge impact on our days. If you can actively change those thoughts that aren’t serving you, think about how much better an impact your thoughts can have on you! Just some food for thought 😉
  17. Always forgive yourself. Earlier I mentioned forgiving others. Well, it is important to forgive yourself too. You are not and never will be perfect. No one is. That is okay. Stop holding yourself to the mistake you made 5 years ago. Forgive yourself. Start each day with a clean slate. Decipher the lesson out of the mistake and forgive yourself. No need to carry the burden any longer.
  18. Not everyone is going to like you and thats okay. We have all heard this before too, I’m sure. Well it is true! Not everyone is going to like you. That is FINE. You will be okay! You have your people that love you and that is all that matters.
  19. The way you react says more about you than anything else. This. The way you choose to react to things that happen to you says SO much about you.
  20. Quality time with your people is important. Prioritize spending time with your friends and family. And not just spending time with them but spending quality time and building those relationships. It is so important to fuel those relationships with the ones in your corner.
  21. The fears we don’t face become our limits. I’ll leave this one for what it is. Just think about it. Do the work, figure out your fears that are becoming your limits. I’m sure you can find at least one.
  22. You are and always will be enough. Trust me, you are.
  23. Don’t water dead plants. Don’t do it!!! There is a reason that the plant died. It is probably because you were the only one taking care of the plant. You can’t do it alone. You tried your best. Stop watering it.
  24. Chase YOUR dreams and YOUR goals for YOU. You don’t have to explain your goals and dreams to anyone else. Chase them for you. Not anyone else.
  25. Romanticize your life more. Yes. Turn your mornings into stories and your nights with friends into fairytales. Don’t just passively live life. Turn your life into something bigger. Those things that you love to do or that take up your me time. It is not just empty space between work and obligations. You are writing the story of your life each and every day. Act like it!
  26. Never stop learning. Never, ever. Always find lesson always think about your application. There is something to learn from each day if you look for it!

Take what you need, leave what you don’t! Stay positive, spread the love and be kind friends 🙂

All the love,

Amber

What you choose to focus on will grow.

We have all heard that before, I’m sure. What you choose to focus on will grow. Makes sense, right? If you choose to focus on your goals, you will grow until you reach those goals. If you choose to focus on positivity, the positivity within you will continue to grow. But, the same goes when you choose to focus on those negative things.

I think over the last year there have been many, many things to focus on that could be negative. Our realities were essentially ripped away from us, our families and our communities. The inconsistency that life has brought into our lives has really thrown us all off. I know that it was easy for me to set my focus on the negative things going on around me, which grew the negativity inside me. I was a positive person on the surface, but as time went on I found myself gravitating toward the negativity instead of the positive. It took a lot of work, but by actively choosing to focus on things that would help me grow where I need and want, I have become that truly positive person again. Some days it is so hard to choose and maintain my focus, other days it’s easy. But it is a choice you have to make.

Here are some of my tips to help you step out and choose your focus each day!

  1. Choose your focus areas or goals. This could be ANYTHING you want. Whether it is health and fitness related, monetary, something you want to work towards or something you want to be. Your focus areas and goals are your own to choose. I recommend writing them down and keeping them somewhere you can read and remind yourself of each and every day. I think this is important because it is easy to lose track of all the different areas you want to grow with your busy life. Just hitting reset and reading them each chance you get can help maintain that focus.
  2. Journaling! Journaling has seriously helped me focus SO much on the things I want. I journal differently each day, depending on what I need. Some days it is a brain dump just to get those things out of my head that don’t need to be there. Some days it is a complete story to get out my feelings about things going on in my life. Some days it is more like a diary, because if I can get those things out on paper, I won’t be inclined to dwell on them. My journal is where I get rid of everything I don’t want to focus on and bring forward everything I do want to focus on so I can grow.
  3. Meditation and Affirmations. For me, this looks like leading myself through a short yoga session, really focusing on my breath and letting all feelings of stress go. I also use affirmations within my journaling as well as read them on my vision board each morning.
  4. Spread joy in your conversations, not negativity. This one can be a bit hard. Monitoring each and every conversation can be rough. But going into your interactions with those around you with the intention of spreading joy can help keep those conversations positive and up lifting. Obviously, things are not butterflies and rainbows all the time, but if you can focus on that positive side more often than the negative, it will increase your chances of growing!
  5. Stick to your focus or goals, don’t feel bad about it. Your choice of focus or goals are important to you. So treat them as such! Sometimes it is easy to get so caught up in other areas of our lives that we let what is truly important to ourselves go. This is the part where you have to wake up each day and consistently choose your focus over and over again. Otherwise you can stray so far away from your priorities you find yourself not working towards anything for yourself. You deserve better!

These are just some of the things that have worked for myself. This time has been difficult on us all, so remember to give grace as well. It is important to remind yourself we are all going through different things and struggling in different ways. Be kind, spread love and focus on those good things! Here’s to a great month!

All the love,

Amber