Getting back in the race.

Without a doubt the last few months have been very draining on me. I started working full time at a small business, with only two other full time employees, in January. So just as I was getting into the swing of things and getting my groove, BOOM. The pandemic hits and we have to completely rearrange and change the business to survive the times. Long story short, it has been the biggest whirlwind of my life. I have grown so much in the last few months and I am grateful for the challenges that this all has brought me. I not only grew professionally but also just as a human. I have learned so much about myself through this season, I can’t even explain it.

Towards the beginning of this journey I was motivated, all in, focused and just had my eyes on making it through. So I was imagining this finish line of making it to the other side having learned all the things, been so strong and maintained stamina. But at this point in the season, we are kind of at a standstill. I want so badly to keep pushing toward that finish line but it feels as if the race when from 5 miles to 55 miles. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I started, and now that I’m in I have to finish.

We are all in the same race. Maybe some of us are walking, some are jogging and some are running full speed ahead. Maybe like me, you started at a sprint and have slowed to a walk or a full on stop. Wherever you are, recognize it and take a peek back at how far you have come. This season is HARD you guys. No matter where you are at, you made it where you are now. You are closer to the finish line and that means something!

This past week I let myself get into a funk for more reasons than just this, but those are for a different day. My funk was partially due to the fact I was tired. I had been focused on running this race so much and getting all that I could out of it that I didn’t stop to rest. So I decided to try to rest. But then when I did I realized that the finish line had moved farther away than I thought. So getting started again felt like starting over. And starting over can be scary and overwhelming. But starting over can also be something beautiful and lead you so many places than you ever thought it could.

If you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed with the uncertainty of this season, I hope you still push through. I hope you gain the courage to get back up on your feet and get moving again. Just take it step by step, at your own pace. You can run a race, come in last, and still accomplish running the race. Give yourself a moment, then get back to it. You have more people on the sidelines cheering for you than you think. More people are encouraged and motivated by you than you realize.

So I challenge you to get back in the race and keep pushing through this week. Maybe that means encouraging someone else or checking in with a friend. Maybe that means getting back into your routine, working out more or preparing your meals. Maybe pushing through just looks like getting a solid 8 hours of sleep each night. Whatever it means to you, you CAN do this. Have your moment, then get back in the race. You’ve got this!

All the love,

Amber

Navigating this season and where to go next.

I think it goes without saying that the last few months have been uncharted territory. I honestly debated not writing about the current state of the world but as I continue to navigate through all I have gone through during this season, I felt compelled to create a post. These are just ideas that have hit my brain within the last few months and are my kind of growth mindset version of what is happening in my world and how I am interpreting it all. So bare with my ideas and take what you need!

There are multiple realities to all situations.

This has been on my mind heavy in the last few weeks. It is honestly my favorite thing I am learning throughout this time. I think that it is important to remember in all situations that there are multiple realities. What you experience will NEVER be exactly the same as someone else. You have a completely unique view on just about everything because all of your experiences leading up to the present moment have molded your view on life and all it holds. Your reality is different than mine and THAT IS OKAY. Your reality is different than those around you- your family, friends, coworkers, etc.

In navigating through my thoughts, emotions and day to day life I have found that this is such a relaxing idea. I think it could be for most people. Understanding that things are genuinely not always what they seem helps me to work through how I feel about situations without feeling as though I could have done something to change the outcome. Sometimes, things just are the way they are because people are the way they are. Even though everyone has a different perspective, we are all in this together. And that is the beauty of it. People live each day in their own reality and all we can do is do our best to ensure our part in their reality is positive, honest and loving.

It’s usually not about you.

This one just hits ya right in the ego, right? This one has been the BEST thing to work through. It goes hand in hand with the multiple realities idea, but it is a bit more focused. Sometimes we can let people get to us when they do certain things. It is easy to carry those things with you when they make you angry, upset or even annoyed. It is especially important to remember when people are rude, hateful or just flat out cranky with you. I have started to take a step back and understand that it honestly (probably) isn’t about me. Their attitude, words and actions usually are not about me at all, but about what they have going on in their own reality.

I highly recommend taking a step back and remembering this when you are letting others get to you for whatever reason. Maybe they have something going on in their life you don’t know about. Maybe they are just working through things or just received some bad news. Maybe they just genuinely didn’t think what they said hurt you. We never know unless they choose to share it with us. If they haven’t shared it with you, it probably isn’t about you, so don’t let it get to you.

I challenge you to show those that “get to you” some compassion and understanding today. How can you be there for them in a way that you haven’t tried before? How can you show up for them? Or maybe, how can you work through your feelings about them and let them go? Which leads me to my next, and last, point.

Let it go, or set it down and come back for it.

Yes, you read that right. Shout out to Elsa for giving this idea a theme song! Let it gooooo! I hope you sang that like I just did. Anyways, please just let things go. Life has proven to be heavy these last few months and you can only hold up so much. There is a reason that you can actually feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders when you work through problems- because all you do all day long is collect things and hold onto them. We focus so much on consuming so many things in our day that we forget we can only hold onto so many things at once. Like a server who has two arms full of plates and glasses, we have to be able to balance everything we are holding onto. If we can’t we will have to set it down. Maybe we come back for it later, or maybe we just let it go.

There are so many little things in life we seem to hold onto nowadays. I think partially that is due to living our lives online and feeling all the pressure to have it altogether all the time. But that topic is for a whole other day…. But seriously, how many things are you still holding onto that you should have let go or put down by now? I did an exercise in my journal by writing out all the things I was holding onto in my life. Let me tell you, it took up 2 ENTIRE PAGES! I was holding onto so many things I should have just let go by now. I’m talking about everything from tough memories to small things that were said. I let go of SO many things and felt so relieved after. I also made a list of things I wanted to set down for now and come back to later. It felt so good getting those things out of my mind and being able to feel the weight lessen.

This season has brought on so many things in everyone’s lives. I hope you are able to let some things go so you can carry yourself wherever you plan to go to next.

Where to go next.

Ya know, I have no idea where you can go next. But what I do know is that the last few months have been uncharted territory for us all. Whatever you had to do, however you had to change your life, wherever you had to go, however you had to step up or step down- it was all hard, challenging and different. Your life did not go as you planned and you were probably presented with more stress than normal. Understand that your experience is valid and there may need to be some things you work through regarding your feelings and mindset throughout. You get to decide if you are going to look at your experience and learn or if you’re going to just go through the motions and keep living with the same ideas and perspective.

I hope that where you choose to go next is in the direction of growth and understanding for yourself. I hope you choose to give yourself grace. I hope you create space to work through the fact that you are living in a situation you probably never saw coming.

Wherever you go next, I hope it is truly the right direction for you. And if it doesn’t turn out to be, set it down and choose a different direction!

All the love,

Amber

Not everyone has the same heart as you and that is okay.

So after a recent conversation with friends something has been weighing on me. Not everyone has the same heart as you. That is a hard pill for me to swallow because I have a big heart, like a really big heart. I am here to say that is not always a good thing. I spend more time thinking about others than I could even imagine thinking about myself. When I am in a room with others I want them to feel comfortable, even when I am in their house. I always want people to feel loved and accepted. I choose my words carefully depending on who I talk to because I always want them to feel better after having a conversation with me. I think about what others tell me often so I can be sure to follow up with them about what is going on in their lives. Spreading love and joy is an active part of my life, as it is for so many people.

The thing about this is that not everyone has the same level of love and compassion for you as you have for them. You could be so conscious of your support and love for someone and they could in fact not show you an ounce of the same love back. Your friends are going to say things that hurt your feelings, they aren’t going to be as considerate as you are to them. People won’t always remember what you share with them because they won’t make it a priority to know what is going on in your life as you do with them. And that hurts, right? When it is not reciprocated it can be defeating. But only if you choose.

Not everyone has the same heart as you. If you choose to let it defeat you, then it will.

Not everyone has the same heart as you and that’s okay. If you choose, you can continue to spread that love and joy and compassion. You can continue to be the light in everyone’s lives because chances are that you will touch at least one person and help them to be the light in others lives too. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is if you are happy with who you are and how you’re living your life. To me, ensuring that I am a caring, compassionate and kind person will always be important.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of times where I have put my foot in my mouth. I have said something that I thought and as soon as it got out of my mouth I knew it was a bad idea to have even thought it. I am sure that I have hurt someone without even realizing it, we all have. But the important part about growing is that you take everything as a learning opportunity. When things like this arise, you can step up, apologize and move on. Try again the next day to be the most caring, compassionate and kind soul in the room.

You choose each day the kind of person you want to show up as and be remembered by. Will it be encouraging and a light for others or will it be bitter because you’ve been burned by hearts that maybe aren’t as big as yours?

What will you choose today?